“I wanted to complete my master’s degree before I got married. I had a lot of pressure. Everyone that would visit home would ask the same question. “When are you getting married?” I believe marriage is a personal matter, but our families and societies are such that they literally hound you.
When I got married, I was 27. I managed not to give in to the pressure. Soon after the questions didn’t stop. This time it was another one, “When are you having a baby?”
After two years of marriage, we decided to have a baby. We had a son though I wanted to have a daughter. Anyway, it wasn’t something you can choose.
I had heard and read that a mother has to endure intense labor pain during delivery. But I witnessed it with my own eyes. I was there and seeing my wife in such excruciating pain helped me understand that giving birth is not a simple matter. All men should understand that. In order to ease her agony, I decided to be active in taking care of the baby as soon as he was born.
I believe that all of us are creations of nature. Nature is our mother and our teacher. Therefore, I kept my son close to nature from very early on. I wanted him to love. To love the sky, clouds, mountains, birds, and animals. I made him smell flowers, and feed pigeons. I recited poems and sang lullabies written on the grandeur of nature and love.
After 2.5 years, we had a daughter. My wish was fulfilled however I was cautious of the changes it was going to bring to the family. Since the attention of the whole family was going to shift on the newborn, I was careful that my son also received the attention that he was used to.
However, despite my effort to not let him miss the mother’s lap, it took him a while to realize that it also belongs to his sister. There were instances when he would cry to his mom. “Don’t carry her; carry me!”
Currently, our son is 3.5 years while our daughter just completed 1 year. Now, our son is more considerate and does not trouble his mother like he used to. I think he understands we both love them equally. And we see he also loves his sister.
As a father, I have taken more responsibility for my son, while she takes care of the daughter. We are together and have distributed our responsibilities. While the little daughter sleeps with her, the boy snoozes with me in another bed.
At bedtime, he asks me to tell stories. In this generation of social media, it is interesting to note his inclination toward stories. I tell him stories that out of the activities he experiences all day. He can relate to those stories as I make him a character in these stories. I sometimes derive a moral at the end of the story — differentiating between good and bad deeds. And he slumbers.
I feel good being a father and a good husband to my wife.”
Featured in Stories of Nepal
