We weren’t made for each other, for the differences we shared. Long ago, she had become a fan of my creative posts on social media. Her presence made me feel like a celebrity, as no one had ever bothered to compliment my writing in a way she did. Those accolades made me feel special, and we gradually became closer. However, both of us were clear that we weren’t made for each other.
That intimacy gradually made us talk about the things beyond my writings. We kept having conversations for hours with no agenda, just like the love birds used to do in those days, when there were no video calling features in messengers. It seems my ‘fan’ was gradually turning into a ‘friend’ and I was afraid that things would go beyond because of the ‘differences’ we shared.
She was definitely my well-wisher – a sort of a gift that stems from social media revolution of the internet 2.0. At the age where the predilection of people is more towards viral video contents, I was really lucky that there is someone like her who loves reading all my stories. I knew even if no one reads my texts, there would be her to scan them and make a genuine comment. Her compliments made me keep on writing and she continued coming closer, despite our differences.
As time passed, one day, I was compelled to ask myself, “Is this ‘fandom’ upgrading into another level where the line marking the ‘difference’ vanishes?” I tell you, there’s a very thin line of difference in ‘love’ and ‘friendship’ when two opposite genders come closer. Sometimes someone’s love is more dangerous than their hatred. The doses of love I was getting from her was starting to worry me because I was already committed to the ‘Love of Life’ who is currently my wife.
At one point of life, the friendly relationship I was having with her sought an answer to a question, “Am I being dishonest towards the ‘Love of Life’?” That was the day when I decided to ‘breakup’ with the greatest well-wisher I can ever have in my life. I started acting harsh and cruel to someone who had done nothing wrong to me. I am not telling you a plot of a twisted movie but responding to her love with a venom, I was like that sadistic villain portrayed in Bollywood films.
I knew, I was acting wicked, which was against my nature of benevolence. I reacted in a way that isn’t expressed even to a rival. I was doing that wittingly — with a heavy heart so that my friend would turn into a foe. Anyway, it was a necessary evil for me because such antidote was required to suppress the doses of compassion she was bestowing on me.
Fast forward to the present day, I kept writing and I have become an acclaimed blogger. The foundation of these contents in my blogs lies in the early day posts I used to make on social media. Her compliments had always helped me hone my writing skills. Today, through this blog, I would like to pay tribute to my first reader.
Dear First Reader,
I know, you are reading this as well. I know, I responded to the kindness you had shown me with hostility. I know, I didn’t reciprocate well to a good friend. I ended the friendship just to remain faithful to the ‘Love of my Life’. Both you and I knew that we were never meant for each other. But today I would like to tell you one thing. You have always been very special to me. I will tell your stories to my children and grandchildren. I will teach them to cherish the feelings of an altruistic admirer and never hurt them in a way their grandpa did.
Dear Friend, I am sorry for everything. Sometimes, I wish we had never met, and that we were never connected through social media. I wish you had never commented on my posts. I wish I had never written those notes. For I would have never hurt feelings of the person with the most beautiful heart. Although I regret for my actions, I can’t really expect that you can forgive me someday. Because I know, seeking vengeance is easy, but it takes a lot of courage and effort to forgive.
