It was chilling cold. The moon was trying to peep from the spaces between the sparse of clouds. Challenging the weather and our prevailing cultural norms, I was lying flat on the open balcony of our hostel, as if I was counting the stars. Stars of Gemini was right in front of my eyes; that’s my horoscope.
Beep…Beep…Beep… 8:45 version of BBC started tuning into my ears through the headset of my cell. “Turmoil in the Middle-east deepens”…”Taliban bomber kill 31″…”North Korea to attack south”… Whole world seems to be in the state of chaos and so was my mind and soul. I used to care those stuffs and keep myself updated. But I hardly want to get into this dreary news. I tuned to another station that played music which goes with my feelings. “Whiskey Lullabies …” Ah! I love it.
But damn! Helius entered the scene trying to absorb the atmosphere. I could easily make out that he too was drunk slightly. After recognizing me in the rays of moon, he exclaimed.
“Darcel, You here! What has happened to you? What on the earth made you to spend such a lonely moment here?”
“No… Nothing … ,” I replied being lackadaisical to his queries. But he wasn’t letting me alone.
He started gossiping on career and life after graduation. I hardly took part in the conversation. However, being a good listener, I kept on hearing his monologue. I didn’t know from which point he deviated into something I never wished to.
“Darcel, we used to be very close friends, weren’t we?”
My nerves carried impulses to make my heart start beating very fast. Breathing accelerated and my body started to quiver. I felt as if my body wasn’t mine. Coz it wasn’t under my control. I tried my best to hide my body tremor.
I was willing to elude him but he continued.
“I remember the days when we spent time together. I remember… I remember…”
Things from the past came in front of my eyes like a movie. We used to have a whale of time together. He was the only guy I had trusted. Occasionally, he came to my home and dad also never took it otherwise. It was probably a sign of his approval to our relationship. Back then, he didn’t own a bike. He used to sit behind me, while I drive my scooty. We used to ride far and wide, so bravely and wildly.
Helius seemed to be unstoppable. Wave after wave of long pent-up emotions elicited out. He continued.
“I can’t remember the point from where we began to set apart. At the time when I realized that we were no more communicating, we were already aloof. I really miss those moments, Darcel.”
I had never found him so serious before. I wasn’t scare of him but I wasn’t in a situation to have an eye-contact with him either. Yet my body didn’t stop shivering. Although the weather wasn’t that cold, my heart was almost freezing.
Taking a deep breath, he continued.
“I don’t remember any smallest dispute between us. Neither had I told something that hurts you nor you had. How come such close friends get to the situation where even chat is rare?”
Silence haunted the evening for sometimes. During his long monologue I hadn’t spoken a word. But he was pretty sure that I wasn’t turning deaf ear to him. The silence perhaps meant to indicate it was my turn to speak. But I sat there in absolute silence. Finally, he broke the muteness himself.
“Speak out something, Darcel. You won’t have luxury of being silent today.”
I wasn’t in a situation to speak a word. Coz it was sure to show that my heart along with my body was still shivering. But then I had no alternative to speak. I didn’t have any word to justify but I dared to give a try.
“Neither you nor I know the point from where we distanced. The circumstances might have played their roles. There’s no particular reason for the break up. Perhaps, there might have been petty circumstances that acted cumulatively.” I tried to concede the truth.
This was the longest sentence I had ever spoken to him over a time. He started judging what those ‘petty cumulative circumstances’ could be.
He reviewed, “My gradual closeness with Lucy might not have allowed me to arrange time for you… You being a teetotaler, my penchant for bottles might have made you to feel insecure… My reluctance to buy a bike might also have played role for the break up.” He kept on discovering many elements of the ‘cumulative circumstances’.
I looked up in the sky. Gemini was far behind my eyes. My hair and collar of jacket were already wet with winter dews. I looked at my cell, it was already mid night. It was time to leave.
It won’t be hyperbolic to say, he is still a good critic. He had found out and interpreted each and every element of the ‘cumulative circumstances’. But to me, the first element was just more than enough for the break up. Coz this is Darcel, aka the darkness, who can’t stand his Helius, aka the sun, being synonym with Lucy – the light.
